Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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