I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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