You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
