i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
