Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
