A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
