dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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