Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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