okay pat passed out under dana's car
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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