We won't sleep together?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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