it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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