She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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