White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
