Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm really busy with my period
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
