There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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