On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
