he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
