Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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