I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
