He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
