Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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