Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
