we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
