Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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