Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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