ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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