chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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