remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
