Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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