I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
