tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
