Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
