Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
