I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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