on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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