There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
