who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
