people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
