A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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