i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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