i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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