More tranny stories later!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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