how can u be prego again
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
