so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
