don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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