btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just want to make out with him forever
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
