Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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