It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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