he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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