found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
