wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
