Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize